Quest for Life!!

Now there is a word that tingles and excites the soul within me and pretty sure it does for many.
And I too, have had my share of the pleasures and the whims of the beautiful word. It can be worthwhile, exhilarating, exciting and deadly. For those who experience it, you know what it mean when I say deadly. **Wink.
Not that it literally means that it causes death.. then again yeah it gives you a heartache that it can be too excruciating than the pain of death. Well that was how it was for me. Because the thought that death was far more better than the heartache itself. I cannot compare what, how death would feel but I figured that could be a resolution to the pain because i didn't want to feel it.

Ok, lets not go back there, why, simply I have learned my lesson and decided to cherish those wonderful moments and keeping smiling to myself thinking it over and over.
Everyone has a past that could be bitter to the core, that sometimes they need to put it away (nicely wrapped, tucked into a box), instead of complaining about the pain and the deadliest (i know it sounds too harsh) encounter in my life.

Life is so like an unbalanced scale most of the time and the funny part is you can never guess which side is the heaviest and why is it so? Because you might end up thinking that the heavier must be the one which is heavy with all the bad memories. Such its heavy like your heart. The other side should be the lighter one because you have put everything away and thus light hearted moment starts.
At times, this will lead you to think about all the positive things that happen in your life might be greater and and at some instances it would be the other way round.

You might just end up at a crossroad thinking and thinking where and why there isn't anything positive or good happening to you...

Well, that's life! Sucks doesn't it.I know because that's how i feel.

However, those were the days where I always used to think that way. The same thought used to repeat itself and I would think that banging my head on the wall was the best way to seek an answer, where its always a futile attempt.
And at some point of time, well we move on. And yes it's taken me longer than it should be. I guess I'm still very skeptical and not too mention conventional too...
Maybe, the wall that's surrounding me keeps me away from everything.. Such as LOVE..Because some thinks the saddest part in my life. But its not for me. I've had fair share of turbulence's without the big letters.

Till recently, I met someone. Someone from a group of friends that I met him while on a road trip to National Park back here.
My oh my can he be a pain.. yes!!
Can he be a sweetheart, yes that too!!
And can he make you laugh?? Without a doubt!!!

Then again something just didn't click. What was it?? Then it me the whole thing reminded me of something.. Yes, its my past!!
Why?????

I guess there is just way to much similarity between the 2 of them, or maybe I see it as similarity or I'm looking for the similarity?

And I guess that was the reason I was attracted to him, which later I realized that it was merely a desperation of myself to fill in the gap that I was feeling...
Yes, after all I'm a normal human being and a women who is simply in her quest for life (which I just figured out)..

At the end of the day what I'm trying to say is that, life took me through many twist, turns, bumps, humps and God knows what else, just for the sake one word "love" and I just didn't have any luck with it...guess I'm just not destined for it or its not my time.

But i realized there is more to life... and now I'm in my Quest for thee!!

2012

The final or the end of the Mayan calendar. The prediction of many that the world would come to an end was revolving around everyones day to day life. And the hype media created to sell their stories were amazing.
I just can seem to fathom the insanity level but then again who am I to judge what others feel.
Everyone of us are an individual of own trades and feelings. And yes we are still alive and well and breathing. the world is still around!!!

As for 2012, it has been an amazing year for me, though it started with a lot of turbulence and heartache I never allowed it dissipate my spirit. There was a lot of stress at the begining of the year due to work and unwanted tension from some undesired and unwanted moron.. well its past and I'm glad. Then again, when I look back it helped me to understand things and people on a different level. People are not always what they seemed to be. Like what they say there is 2 sides to the coin... and I learned it the hard way.
I'm glad that phase of my life has moved on.

There was so many memorable moments, life wrecking one's...I wouldn't want to go in depth into all that. but I what I do know is that I have met some wonderful people and have done some really satisfying things. Thus, the year was really good to me.

I'm looking forward for better days ahead and for the first time ever I have come up with a list of things to do and accomplish this year.
I feel good about my list and I'm pretty determined to ensure I keep up to my promise and fulfill all the items in the list.
For a start giving up on my most loved food. Second, I'm going to back to school to complete some unfinished business and thirdly, my monthly donation commitment.
But I'm pretty determined that I will want to leave my life as it comes and enjoy the days with focus and determination..
Happy New Year everyone!!!

Life of Piscine @ Pi

I saw the trailer some time ago, not sure but a couple of months back I think. The trailer intrigued me and made me think how it is possible to picture a live Tiger (he was simply awesome) and a young guy on a life boat?


Hence, I told myself I need to watch this movie -
1 - For the reason it was very intriguing and
2 - To know what the story is actually about - tiger and a boy on a stranded life boat.

I left it as it is, till recently during Deepavali (festival celebrated by Hindu's) , there was tone’s of special program for Deepavali aired on local TV. Here in Malaysia we have the local channel, maintained by the government and as well as the private TV Channel (one and only in Malaysia). Since it’s owned by a private company, one could imagine the extortion of fees done by them.
The greed and need for comfort of sophisticated and up to date entertainment, we oblige the TV company’s whims and nuisance of 1000x times of replay of single movie that actually played over and over for months and might be years.

Well we have to deal with it because there isn’t any choice for decent entertainment. (Unlike me I opt for outdoor entertainment and mostly Internet).

Coming back to the ignition of my curiosity to watch the movie, recently I was in Taipei, Taiwan on a business trip.
Took some time off for myself to move around the city and wow.. It was awesome.
The local TV channels in Taipei with the English movies were constantly playing short video clips and trailers of the movie throughout the days, in between each movie screening. When you keep watching something over and over with no inclination on head or tail of the story, one (who has very high level of curiosity like me, at times *wink) would definitely have the need to see "what the hell is so great about the movie"..
Yes that’s how it all started and I think I'm glad it happened that way because my anticipation level was very high by the time I watched the movie.

Once I reached home, I was going gaga about the movie to everyone including my mom. My mother in recent years watched very limited number of movies in theatre. And considering my continous ranting and rambling and my fixation on the movie, she understood this must be something. Yet she did not spoke anything.

Till the day before we went to the theatre, she did not say yes to accompany me to watch the movie.

Then she managed to watch the trailer and I think she was awe struck by it and she instantly agreed to follow me.

Watching the movie, did and I think would make people wander on the nature of believing in religion and God.

For instance, for those who watched, remember the scene Pi saying prayers before his meal and he would say it to 3 different Gods.

Though the movie and the story is fiction, it was amazingly narrated that it stays and lingers on your mind. The beauty of nature filmed and picturized in the movie was a real feast for the eyes.

I could not imagine how extensive the elaboration of the story in the book might be considering the extent the movie was made.

A friend of mine mentioned that she stopped reading the book the book halfway through because it was very extensive and overwhelming as she was not quipped with such imaginary mind. She even offered me the book, but I declined as I was worried of being demotivated to watch the movie. Hence I didn’t read the book. But after watching the movie, I have requested for the book from her, as I have some perspective of what and how the story goes.

I'm not a good reviewer of any story or book, hence this is not a review of the book but my small perspective of the story.

1- the justice the director and the CGI team has done for Richard Parker was simply breathtaking.

2 - Your believe in God should not be measured how, who and why. Because he doesnt!

3- Never follow others but your own heart at any point of time. Always believe in yourself that I guess leads you to God.

4- Survival is essential and being brave at every "impossible" situation will keep you alive and sane.

5- Being imaginative and thinking of extraordinary things and putting it into perspective for viewing of others makes you definitely a world class Director (Ang Lee).

6- Only problem and qualm I have is the movie was short. I felt it was over too soon.

Giving is the ultimatum

In Hinduism, we believe that giving makes you a better person and that the deed is considered to be the highest level of great deed, one which adds to your list of "dharmam" and instant reduction on your "karma's". In hinduism, the dharma and karma are opposite of each other, basically its the shadow of one another. You can see the consequences of your action form into the other (like when the sun shines upon karma, only dharma's shadow will be seen and vice versa).
In one of part of the Mahabharatam during the Kurukshetra war, Karnan's generosity will be brought to limelight and it will garner him popularity as well as the sighthing of the great krishna's vishwaroopam.. (Well, who wouldn't want to have a glimpse of the greatest god). and Karnan was and is remembered and talked for all his good deeds, as well as his courage.

(My understanding is mainly based from a movie and some online reading so to speak.)

Well that's an old story!!!

What about the new one's.. there are many good Samaritan's out there aren't they? And are you one of them?
Well I'm not, or should I say yet to be one of them. 

Some people think, if they are willing to fork out some $$$ from their pocket that can be a wealthy donation and it should reach to some needy kids or orphans and that they have achieved the "dharmam" requirement in their life and that they will be secured for all their karma's. Is it that true????
For some they think it is still not within their capacity to do the dharma, as they have more time ahead of the days and they would do it soonest possible. Sadly I'm pretty much falling into this category. Why??? My humanly desire's, greed and other not so good attribute refrains me from doing it. And yes, there is always tomorrow or the next month, where I could, would and must spare my pay check.
But on the contrary however, there's been some (very minimal in fact) instances, where I have fairly (my discretion mind it) done my part of the good quest to the needy one's.
But is that enough for me to personify my personality to represent the character of an Ultimate Giver..Well I'm not sure!!!
But i do know that it gives a god damn well satisfied grin on the faces of those who does it much regularly, more generously and what more without any reservation so to speak.

What If

What if you find a cockroach or a fly in your food while you are eating?
Will you still continue to eat?
I know its gross and yack's, But it is a reality check, considering we do not have the privilege of dining at a 5* at all available and possible instances.
It can happen to anyone specially if you were a regular diner at the street side stalls, the Chinese coffee shops, the normal restaurants...
I know its not hygienic at all but sometimes, that's the common site we see around town, specially in KL.
Well, then again it doesn't mean that its dirty and the food is unhealthy.
Its just sometimes the real deal comes from such places and the package is pretty good.

Coming back to my question, would you or would you not eat your food if you find some unwanted visitors in it.
Well it happened to me, last week during lunch.
In fact it has happened on many occasion and I just never bothered much to make fuss about it.
My colleagues and I dropped by to this Chinese coffee shop @ hawker food restaurant.(whatever you call it).
We drove there, as we do not have much choices inside our office premises.
I ordered my favorite, Seafood Noodles soup. The only food I like to eat there.
Its prepared by this old Chinese man, it's an odd feeling I have when I see him. Am not sure if its pity, sympathy or what? Because I feel, he seems a bit too old to work and yet he cooks the food and serve it everyday. And he does it pretty well too.
Its interesting to see him prepare the food at his own rhythm.
My food arrived after 10min, I quickly scooped spoonful and started indulging. half way thru I realized there was a dead fly inside my food.
I was shocked and was pretty worried what if the food is contaminated with virus or something.
Then I looked up and my colleagues were enjoying it they meal with no issues.
I looked at the stall owner this old Chinese man, then I scooped the fly out of my bowl and put it in a dish beside my food plate.
I made sure no one saw what I did and I continued to eat.
I wasn't sure why I continued to eat but after we left the shop I started thinking it over again and realize, I was worried to make a fuss in front of people and was worried for the old Chinese man. Was thinking what will happen if I were to complaint, thus I refrain myself from doing it.

And I also thought of the possibility of me falling sick and the odds were low.
First because the fly would have been dead by the time it fell into the hot soup, 2nd the surrounding area of the restaurant is a pretty decent and clean housing area. Its very unlikely the fly was carrying any dirt in it.
Thus, I thought it would be slightly impossible for me to get contaminated with any virus and the worse thought was "I would just vomit and/or have fever"..that's what crossed my mind.
I was shocked with my nerve but guess what it worked and luck was on my side.
Its like more than a week now and there was no extraordinary situation within me.

I'm not sure if its the right thing but thus far, I've no issues. I know some people who are so paranoid over small issues and thinks of all the impossible things when this kind of things were to happen.
Well I can't help it but think otherwise.
On numerous occasions, I will also not hesitate to eat something that spilled on the table.

Samsung SII

I have no incline towards technology at times, yet somethings fascinates me. Like the Samsung SII I bought for myself couple of months back.. I know SIII is out and I should have bought that instead of the latter.
Well I think the functions are still cool and fun. Way better the price was much cheaper and affordable

Anyways, the camera features is what I like the most and manage to capture some interesting pictures a long the way.. so lets see.


Absolutely breathtaking sunset view in Penang during my short holiday trip in April...the actual was much mesmerizing than this.
**I hope my positioning of the camera and the natural light is good..

This is a beautiful Full Moon I captured outside of my house randomly. My phone managed it well by capturing the movement of the cloud and the Moon is intact.

A very unique drink.. combination of Longan fruit, cilantro, celery slice, lemon slice and lemon grass..
From one of our local eatery in KL.. interesting food and they serve it in really really big portions.. and guess what its absolutely yummy.

My friends handiwork.. she is good at baking cakes. It's always a guilty indulgence when you put your fork in it, yet its worth it.
This was a special cake made by her for my 4 year old niece.
One might be wandering what is it on top of the cake. Its actually the fondant icing duplicating make up palette, eye-shadow.
Yes my niece is obsessed with make-up and my sister claim she is my sole heir...

Another creation.. this was for my Brother in law's birthday.

if you notice carefully, there is a lot you could see and learn on the likings of him.. my friend did a good job by putting his favorite's on the cake.

Its interesting the things we are able to capture not only in memory but in our camera.
Its like bringing our memory back to live when we sit and look at the photos...

I must say thank you to Technology..

Where do i start?

Where do i start?
The weekend put a huge hole in my pocket. Yet I was not able to resist it. ...woo hoooo..
Nora Roberts has been my favorite authour... I actually intend to make my own collection from all her books.




Recently, I bought a book by Freya North - Chances.. its quite a simple story..
In my recent trip I got another book of hers with 2 title's in it. quite a bargain yar...Love Rules & Home Truths.

The next I got this interesting titled books - Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak and Mothers & Daughters by Kate Long..
Well I'm not a good person to review a book or even anything for the matter. I just read it as it is and enjoy it.
Thus, there will not be any review...